I got shushed a lot when I was young.
Too loud. Too noisy. Too raucous.
The last time my mom tried to shush me I was in my early 30’s and I told her,
“Don’t bother – I’m Unshushable.”
It’s true, but I didn’t totally understand what that meant until later.
(and my Mom still tries to shush me – she just no longer expects it to work)
My bad friend bestie
I was talking with Jules again today.
We both agree we are bad friends. We are. Really bad friends. Really, super terrible friends.
Like, if you want your friends to remember your birthday – don’t be friends with us.
If it’s important for you to talk to your besties on the phone every day; we can’t be friends.
You like to shop with your friends? Buy little gifts for them? Love to receive thoughtful little gifts in return?
Again – we’ll disappoint you, and we’ll probably make you cry.We will not only forget your birthday, not call, forget a gift, but postpone getting together for dinner because we needed to be alone more than we needed to go to Jack Astor’s.
If you like for your friends to praise and support your decisions and take your side on all disagreements (no matter how ridiculous or retarded they are, because they’re your friends for fucks sake, that’s what they’re there for), then WE, are SO not for you.
All of these bad friend reasons are why Jules is one of my solid besties – for life (and there’s a small handful of others who fit into the palm of my bad friend besties – you know who you are).
All the reasons that Jules would make a terrible friend for someone else, makes her perfect for me. And I for her.
I would never categorize her as a bad friend…
because the friendship she gives, is exactly the friendship I need.
Horrible friendship by another’s standards is my exact perfect friendship, and the only kind of friendship I even want to have.
I am UnshushableI’ve accepted that I am Unshushable.
I’ve accepted that I’m a Bad Friend bestie and A Little Bit Inappropriate (mostly when trying to go for the laugh…but still).
I fully understand and accept that this means I will not be universally liked and adored, but that I will more likely actively repel segments of the population.
I am okay with this.
Being true to who I am is more important than being liked by people who wouldn’t be my besties anyway.
I’ve accepted that being Unshushable and A Bad Friend Bestie and A Little Inappropriate means that I may encounter active rejection and possible judgment against my words, my ideas… even myself.
I am okay with this.
Being true to who I am is more important than avoiding disagreement & conflict.
So what’s the point? (and I swear to you – I have one)
These qualities… are a large part of my personality – and represent the core of my branding.
I have a personality brand (and most artists are generally personality brands).
My personality informs every piece of communication I put out across all my networks. The more aware I am of my core brand, the more consistent I can be with my message.
Consistency builds strength, unity and trust in your brand.
A good brand can’t be all things to all people. A good brand takes a position and a voice and represents that voice even in the face of opposition and rejection.
A solid brand will attract people who resonate with it’s foundations and repel those who don’t share those same core values and perspectives.
You will be a Bad Friend to some and a Bestie to your perfect right people.
What’s your brand? What are you saying with your art?
What are you saying with your art that is so important to you that you would be okay for some people to be repelled, reject and confront you… even judge you?
Do you have a message? Have you been hiding the full public voice of your core brand for fear of the reaction?
How does your brand and message align with being true to you as an artist and a visual communicator?