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calvin-hobbes_magical-worldI love the people.

All the people. Most of the time.

I’m in awe and love and fascination with the infinite possibilities that exist within in human beings… each one of us is a potential of infinite learning and growth and fascination.

I’m overwhelmed with the kindness, love and compassion some human beings are capable of – especially to other living things… or in the infinite realms of creativity and innovation.

I believe in us… I believe in us fully and completely – but sometimes I forget.

I forget who we are and what we’re really made of – and it’s the forgetting that makes my life shit.

Beloved Presence

Working with Fabeku to connect to my “super power” and finding Beloved fabekuPresence was… numbing, actually.

Numb. That’s a good word for it.

Because mostly… I’m having trouble owning it.

I know it’s in me. I connected to it. I named it almost 20 years ago.

I know it IS me… but I also know what Beloved Presence is to me and it’s hard to accept.

But it IS what I believe… have believed… known really, since I was a little kid. But it’s the difference between believing magic exists in your imagination and maybe in real life… then being told with absolute truth that magic has always been, always existed. It is true… all that you imagined is real and true…

You just have to own it.

I’m still having trouble owning it.

And I’m never going to be a success in anything – not really, truly, fully – until I can own the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth… so help me God.

So help. Me God.

Me God. Reminding You, You God Also

That’s what Beloved Presence IS.

It’s the part of me that is divine at all times. Is Divine, looks, speaks, thinks, knows, acts, lives Divine.

No separation.

No forgetting.

You may feel like I’m on repeat… but I’m having trouble owning it. I’m putting a toe in and then backing away… it’s about getting to the point that I can accept and own…

I am divine and

my sacred purpose is to be

a divine reminder to you,

of your divinity.


Fucking Geezus Christ in Heaven.

The gremlin says,

Who the FUCK do

you think YOU are?

light bulb red

I am

Beloved Presence.


It’s easier to believe we’re shit than to believe we are divine.

flaming pile of pooIt’s WAY easier to fall back into a pile of shit than to brush off and climb the fucking mountain.

It’s just physics.

But the truth is on the mountain top (and we’re already ON the mountain top – we just forget), and often times there are multiple piles of shit to navigate on the way to that place.

I am taking a class with Mark Silver of The Heart of Business in a couple weeks.

I am thrilled to bits about it. I consider him to be “the orginal” heart-centered business source. I’m willing to bet that the majority of business coaches and gurus out there have some connection to Mark – either they’ve taken his courses or learned from someone who’s taken his courses.
I’m taking the Heart of Money course (currently on for pay what you can!) – because I have some shit to work out for myself.

Not owning my gifts and magic and super power is directly connected with my ability to accept abundance.

Mark Silver is a Sufi Mystic. That’s Islamic mysticism… What I love about Mark is I can be immersed in a field of divinity that is called sacred – that is called God, Allah, Divine… not super powers or resonance or frequency…

I like that. Not everyone does and I try and be cognizant of that – but I like being able to refer to divine sacred source as God and not have anyone flinch.

ReunitedI was listening to a bonus track from Mark and he walked us through a bit of a meditation to get in touch with the divine and WHAM! Beloved Presence – right there, ready for fun times and laughs and hugs and reunions like we’re bestie besties come together after an extended absence.

Seriously – felt like my best, most loved bestie friend who gets me… and then WHAM!

I start to cry… be heaving sobs of regret and sorrow – for every second that I had forgotten this connection.

Grief. Full on grief and loss for forgetting who I am.

What? I get to the mountain top and meet God as one and then immediately have to dive into the pile of shit again because I had forgotten my divinity every day before???

GUH. I shortened my reunion by being sad about how I HADN’T been reunion-ing with BP before now!


Why the tears? We are worthy.

This is the truth of who we are.

We need to remind ourselves more.

And berate ourselves less when we forget that we’re already on the mountain top.

It’s easy to be mean and critical.

It takes strength to be gentle and kind and forgiving.

The tip-offs that you’re probably starting to own your gifts & sacred purpose:

Everybody stepping on the path has to clear out a lot of old, useless, untruthful shit that we’ve picked up from parents, teachers, family and other societal jack-offs that never embraced their truth.

You’re probably on the path if you start hearing in your head any form of:


  • “Who do you think you are?”
  • “You think you’re so great.”
  • “Now you’re better than everyone else, huh?”
  • “You can’t even make the subway on time…”
  • “It’s not THAT easy.”
  • “Pie in the sky”
  • “You’ve always been a dreamer.”
  • “You’re delusional / ridiculous / useless…”
  • “Pfft… like it’ll pay the bills.”
  • “What good are you?”
  • “You’re useless.”
  • Etc….

When you start hearing the gremlins and shitty, downer, pessimistic voices – know that you’re on the right track!

They only come out when the light starts to shine and the system gets primed to start doing the sacred purpose work we came here to do.

Well done you.

Well done.

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