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goofy kid with glassesI’m learning these days that I didn’t adult all at once.

I’m still adulting.

I’m still digging up and dragging out parts of myself into maturity…

Parts of myself that I’d thought were solid are actually just toddlers – insecure, needy little toddlers.

Now I have to be a responsible, firm, loving parent and guide these bits into wholeness and maturity.

This is the part of my soul first biz I didn’t count on – the part where I am required to be a good parent to my toddler bits.

Video here:

I made a video about this topic too – if you’re more into the video.


Learning to Walk

192px-Toddler_running_and_fallingThere’s a lot of stuff wrapped up in permission. Value, worth, belief in self – all of those ribbons are wrapped up in permission; but they really come in afterwards.

Permission at it’s core is about safety and security.

Permission is about knowing that we’re okay. That what we’re doing is okay… that we’re on the right track.

We’re very much like toddlers

first learning to walk.

Unsteady and unsure on our feet – we explore and marvel at our new expanded world; but we still need to regularly return to the stable, secure ground of the adult, the parent, the caretaker.

We need the reassurance as we explore and expand that the base is still there.

The solid, safe core is still there, dependable.

As we gain strength and stability, we can explore further and go longer before we need to return to the reassurance and safety of “homebase”.

We go longer and longer between needing to return to safety that eventually we no longer need it at all; we have fully individualized and can function as a complete and autonomous human being without needing to check in and make sure our choices are acceptable.

The comfort of permission.

Permission_Résidence_1792Needing permission is a reflection of the toddler state – we’re learning how to walk strong and independent in our soul biz and the process of maturity is laughably similar.

Permission is needing to know we’re “okay” and that we’re doing the “right” thing.

Its a form of staying safe.

When we were toddlers, we used the feedback clues from parents, teachers and guardians to guide us and keep us safe while we explored a great big new world.

Those are the same needs and fears we are trying to satisfy in our soul biz when we look for feedback permission from friends, family and colleagues.

We’re trying to stay safe and be “okay”.

Safe isn’t where the growth is. Safe isn’t where we expand ourselves and become the most innovative and creative versions of ourselves.

The magic always happens on the edges.

Needing permission is a distrust of our soul self.

Needing permission is looking for the “okay” of our biz outside of ourselves.

Needing permission is fundamentally at odds with trusting our inner voice. It devalues our own learning and and dismisses our own wisdom and gifts.

Looking for someone else, an “authority” to tell us that what we’re doing is “okay” devalues our unique individual soul perspective.

“Permission” shuts down the

exuberent, creative voice.


Raising the toddler

We still need a “homebase”.

We still need a reliable place to return. A place that is dependable and safe.

It’s just that place is never going to be found in others… not in any external place or person.

It can’t be.

Soul biz adulthood means moving to a position of trust in soul self and confidence in our own ideas.

6199407500_e62e108712_zSoul biz adulthood means no longer being swept off course by feedback or changing direction because someone disagrees with our perspective or position.

Adulthood is believing in our beliefs, premises and ideas – EVEN WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS TALKING ABOUT IT.

Especially when no one else is talking about it.

Especially when no one else is talking about ideas and beliefs and concepts that we think are important and vital for the world.

Art does this all the time. Creatives bring in new awareness all the time.

This is where our growth and innovation lies. This is where the unique and special vision that only you can create is crystalized into the world – on the edges…

Outside of safety…

Beyond the point of permission.

In our soul self.

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