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Kim Jong UnI think we’ve all been guilty of demonizing people with whom we’re in conflict.

It’s natural to assume that “the other” is not only wrong, but somehow misguided, defective or generally inferior.

(If you say you don’t…. I straight up don’t believe you. Get into a conflict with someone about something that REALLY means something to you and I guarantee you’ll start thinking of them with horns and hooves soon enough.)

The other day I watched as a so-called inspirational leader publically cut down people they were in conflict with as “losers” & “failures” and dismissed the entire conversation as a result of “jealous whining”.


‘ Unfollowed’

There’s a lot to unpack here and it goes way beyond being a knee-jerk, juvenile reaction to conflict.

It’s the message underlying the insecurity that is most threatening.

The Message is a Warning

We don’t call other people “failures” and “losers” and accuse them of jealous whining unless we are insecure about our own position.

Leaders who cannot tolerate dissension or opinions contrary to their own are not actually leaders – there is another name for them.

Tyrants. We call them tyrants.

Only tyrants seek to annhilate opposition. Only tyrants who desire total control seek to silence alternative voices.

When oppositional voices cannot be silenced, the tyrant tries to control how the source of the opposition is perceived:






The message is tricky and the message is two-fold:

1. The “other” has no value, is dismissible… The “other” is Garbage.

2. DO NOT DISAGREE with me. If you disagree with me – you will become the “other” and this is how I’ll treat you.

I’m looking for leaders that can be vulnerable.

I’m looking for leaders who don’t take themselves too seriously.

I’m looking for leaders that have the humility to embrace that they will probably get it wrong and will admit it and do better when they do get it wrong.

12 Leadership Lessons from Pope Francis

  • Lead with Humility.
  • Smell Like Your Flock.
  • Who Am I to Judge?
  • Don’t Change-Reinvent.
  • Make Inclusivity a Top Priority
  • Avoid Insularity.
  • Choose Pragmatism over Ideology.
  • The Optics of Decision-Making.
  • Run Your Organization Like a Field Hospital.
  • Live on the Frontier.
  • Overcoming vs. Sidestepping Adversity.
  • Pay Attention to Non-Customers.


The “Feed Me” Test

I expect a good leader to be bigger than conflict – to open arms to all voices, not just those in agreement.
Feed me
I’m tired of my internet and email getting clogged with petty tyrants and narcissists trying to pass as inspirational, even “spiritual” leaders.

I’m not having it.

I’m turning the shit off.

If it doesn’t feed me – with ideas, questions, hope, love, motivation, inspiration or even simple enjoyment – I’m turning the shit off.

Unfollow. Unfriend. Unsubscribe.


Life’s too short to get caught up in all this mess.

Feed me or GTFO.


That goes for me too – if I’m not feeding you with with ideas, questions, hope, love, motivation, inspiration or even simple enjoyment – GET RID OF ME. I’M USELESS.

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